Values: What Is Important to You, and Why?

Values guide your actions, defining what truly matters to you and why. When you’re intentional about your values, your actions align with them. However, if you don’t take time to clarify your values, you might find your decisions shaped by external influences like fear, societal expectations, or the beliefs of others.

Values also foster discipline—doing what needs to be done because it’s important to you, regardless of how you feel. This discipline leads to results, and results build confidence and motivation.

Red Flags of Poor Values:

• Low motivation or discipline

• Lack of confidence or persistent self-doubt

• Feeling “lost” or unfulfilled

Example:
I value kindness. Treating others with compassion is important because it helps foster strong connections and contributes to a more positive community. I practice empathy in my daily interactions with coworkers, family, and strangers.

Externalization: How Do You Measure and Demonstrate Your Values?

Once you’ve defined your values, the next step is to measure your progress and reflect them in your actions. This involves establishing specific metrics that align with your values. Without clear measures, it’s impossible to set meaningful goals or assess whether you’re moving closer to your desired goal.

Using SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based—can help you translate your values into actionable steps that keep you accountable and on track.

A separate aspect of Externalization is more practical: Put what’s inside your brain outside your brain. Use calendars, to-do lists, post-its, notes, conversations, and other means to process information in multiple different ways. This is helpful for learning, processing emotions, and improving memory without relying just on what’s inside your head.

Red Flags of Poor Externalization:

• Perceived vs. actual underperformance

• Efforts that feel unfulfilling

• Inconsistent direction or purpose

• Intrusive thoughts and rumination

• Self-doubt

• Forgetfulness, disorganization, distractibility, poor prioritization

Example:
I define kindness as actively showing empathy and support to others. I will volunteer at my local food bank twice a month, regularly check in on friends and family, and offer help whenever I see someone in need.

Margin: How Do You Set Yourself Up for Success?

Margin ensures you have enough space in your life to handle unexpected challenges. Living at 100% capacity all the time leaves no room for flexibility or recovery, which can lead to burnout and stress. Building margin involves setting priorities, delegating tasks, and ensuring your time is spent on activities with the best return on investment.

Margin also means diversifying your sources of fulfillment. By finding meaning in multiple areas of life, you reduce reliance on any single aspect, such as work or relationships, that might fall short of expectations. This also builds resilience to unexpected difficulties and helps create more realistic expectations that improve your percieved fulfillment from your sources of value.

Red Flags of Poor Margin:

• Chronic stress or irritability

• Persistent anxiety or depression

• Feeling overextended or stretched too thin

Example:
I value family time, but work has been taking too much of my energy. To restore balance, I will delegate tasks at work and set stricter boundaries around working hours, ensuring I have quality time with my family at least four nights a week.

Bringing It All Together

By defining your values, demonstrating them through externalization, and creating margin, you can build a life that feels intentional and fulfilling. These three pillars help you align your actions with your priorities, measure progress meaningfully, and avoid burnout. Start today by asking: What’s important to you, and how can you make space for it in your life?