Chapter 5: Applying VEM (Values, Externalization, Margin) to Parenting
Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles. Integrating the principles of Values, Externalization, and Margin (VEM) into your parenting can foster a healthy, balanced environment for your family while modeling positive behaviors for your children.
Values in Parenting
Your values as a parent set the tone for your family’s priorities. Ask yourself:
What do I want my children to learn from me?
What kind of person do I hope my child grows up to be?
Example Value: Empathy. Teaching children to be empathetic fosters kindness and understanding.
Action Steps:
Model empathy in your daily interactions.
Encourage your child to think about others’ feelings.
Celebrate moments when your child shows compassion.
Externalization in Parenting
Externalization helps translate your values into actionable lessons and behaviors for your children.
Example: If you value learning, externalize this by:
Setting a family reading goal.
Creating a reward system for completing books.
Attending educational events together.
Metrics give clarity to your parenting efforts, helping you stay aligned with your values while providing clear milestones for your child’s growth.
Margin in Parenting
Parenting often feels like a full-time job with no breaks. Margin ensures you have the capacity to handle unexpected challenges and be fully present with your children.
Strategies for Margin:
Delegate tasks to your partner or support network.
Set boundaries for work to prioritize family time.
Schedule regular self-care activities to recharge.
By integrating VEM into your parenting, you create a framework for raising resilient, values-driven children while maintaining balance and joy in your family life.
